I suppose I’ve taken a “vacation” from blogging since I’ve been out of school this summer, but really, I’ve just been waiting for this entry. I feel like since I posted about Mothers’ Day, it’s only appropriate to write about our Fathers’ Day this year.
I think I got over the whole “woe is me” way of thinking by the time Fathers’ Day came around, but then again, Fathers’ Day wasn’t about me. I’d come to terms with the fact that when the Lord decided to bless us with a baby, He’d do it and there was nothing I could do to speed up the process. I didn’t want to spend my summer stressed out about things I had no control over, so I kinda just decided to enjoy my summer and let things happen in God’s perfect timing. Fathers’ Day came around and much like the morning of Mothers’ Day, it didn’t feel any different than any other day. Father’s Day is never made as big of a deal as Mothers’ Day, and David is a very unemotional fella, so we just went about our day as usual. After church, we ate lunch with friends who had recently found out they were expecting their third child, and then we went home to enjoy our Sunday afternoon nap. When we got home, since babies were on my mind, I reluctantly checked my calendar that I hadn’t even glanced at since school let out. I decided I should take a pregnancy test. Positive! I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t believe it! I showed David and I don’t think he believed it either. I didn’t even make a doctor’s appointment until later in the week, because I just knew the test was wrong. I was in total denial for a couple of weeks. We decided we didn’t want to tell anyone for a few weeks, just so we wouldn’t have to get their hopes up and then have to deliver bad news. We had an ultra sound at 6 ½ weeks and David immediately noticed it was a lot bigger than during the last pregnancy (I’m not sure if that had anything to do with it or not. He was probably just reaching for an explanation and a way to pull me out of denial).
I was never sick with the last pregnancy, so when the nausea set in, I was thrilled…until I felt like I was about to die! I’d pray I’d feel better, and when God would answer that prayer, I’d pray I’d get sick just so I ‘d know everything was okay. Since I was a nervous wreck, and still in disbelief, I asked if I could come back for another ultrasound at 8 weeks. The 8 week ultrasound went great. The baby still looked like a blob, but it was still there and still had a heartbeat. It was time to share our good news (which I was still very reluctant about because up until this point, I hadn’t really let myself get excited…just in case). Of course, everyone was excited, but I was waiting for my next appointment. The doctor agreed to another ultrasound at 11 weeks for peace of mind. (The weeks before my appointments are terrible! I make myself so sick with nerves until I get confirmation that we’re okay.) We went for the 11 week ultrasound Monday, and I couldn’t believe how big the baby is! Normally, since the baby looks like blobs on the screen, I just look for the heartbeat and then I’m good. This time though, I could have watched it all day. First of all, I had no idea it’d actually look like a baby already! It had arms and legs and was flapping them both. One time, the doctor poked my belly and it jumped! (Qt least it looked like a jump.) Now, it’s real. Now, I’m excited. I’ve started looking at baby stuff and reading the pregnancy books (which are really gross by the way). I’ve got a list of items to applique or make as soon as we find out whether it’s a boy or a girl (first week of October). I’m actually kinda dreading that though, because coming up with names will be an all-out battle…so we’re just not talking about that right now =)
We are finally excited about our new adventure. It seems that my nausea has subsided a little this week and I hope it’s completely gone by the start of school (or at least be at a functional level). It took me a while to completely give God control and have complete faith in His plans, but once I got there, boy have the blessings poured down! As I’ve said, I was a little apprehensive for a couple of months, just waiting for something bad to happen. My prayer for these few months has been that my faith would be strengthened so I could enjoy our newest blessing. It’s been a gradual process, because of my eternal pessimistic attitude, but thank goodness for ultrasounds! Now that I have seen what I called my “see through” baby (because we could see the heartbeat), my faith is at full force.
David and I sincerely thank you for all of the prayers and will appreciate any more you’d like to throw out! Thank you Lord, for our blessings and Your patience as we’ve struggled this last year. Your timing is perfect and we are grateful that You chose to love us. You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it~Matthew 21:22.
