This time last year, I was a swollen blob, anxiously awaiting
the arrival of my little Fish Man. Two
years ago, I was grieving over the loss of my first pregnancy as the due date
approached. This year, I’m in the process
of planning a first birthday party! Man,
oh man, how things change!
Two years ago, I thought it was the longest year ever and now,
it feels like yesterday that I was preparing for maternity leave. I’ve always heard parents say that time
flies, but you really don’t understand exactly how fast it flies until you
experience it yourself. I love watching
Fishy learn and experience new things, but it makes me sad that he’s almost
walking and he’s not my little bitty baby anymore.
God has taught me a lot over the past two years. I suppose most of my posts (at least my early
ones) carry you through the miscarriage and how I was finally able to overcome
my grief. Then, I kind of used the blog
to vent about how uncomfortable pregnancy is.
This year, I’ve not been as consistent with my posts because I’ve been
kind of busy. You know, with a new baby
and all. ;) I’ll try to sum up what He’s
revealed and is working on in me, during this past year.
Humility & Patience
One thing I’ve learned, and will tell any of you, is do not
make major decisions while pregnant. You
just aren’t thinking clearly! I was so
mellow and laid back through my pregnancy that I didn’t care a whole lot about
anything. I threw stuff away, sold my
house, made plans to build a new house and rent another one in the
process. Then, I had the baby and got my
mind back (well, most of it). Sell my
house? Build a new one? Rent a house? What was I thinking?! Yes, David and I had talked about selling and
even built our first house with the intent to sell in 5 years or so. We’d be in it 6, he’d bought too many large
toys, and we were out of room…or so we thought.
We started looking for places to build and narrowed it down to two. Then we started looking at house plans. Man, do we have exceptional taste! We finally decided on house plans after the 4th
or 5th set. One of the pieces
of property was quite narrower than the other, so we needed to make sure that
the house would fit on it, if we decided to go with it, which made drawing
plans rather difficult. During this
time, we secured a place to rent while we built the house. We intended the building process to take around
5 months and we were going to start in January or February of last year. That would put us moving in around
June/July. So, we packed everything away
and put it in storage. We’d be in in
July so I wouldn’t need anything for fall/winter. All my fall/Christmas decorations,
fall/winter clothes, fall/winter shoes, everything, was in storage. Well, we finally made a decision and
purchased the land…in March! By the time
we got around to finalizing plans, clearing the lot, etc., it was the end of
July. So, that moved our move in to
January (and February is looking more realistic) and all my winter stuff is in
storage!
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ~ Philippians 2:3-8
In the mean time, we moved in to a rental house. Since we were only going to be there until
July (we moved in when we came home with Fishy in February), we decided to take
all of the boxes that wouldn’t fit in our storage building and store them at
the rental house. We figured we could
work around them for five months. Well,
five months have turned into eleven.
I’ve had to live without my wardrobe and am having to re-wear way more
frequently than I’m used to. The house
is rapidly closing in on us as we’re maneuvering around boxes and baby stuff
(babies require a lot of stuff and it’s BIG stuff!). During my “who really cares” mindset of
pregnancy, I packed away all of our plates and serving dishes/utensils and
figured we could live off of $.25 plastic plates for five months…eleven months
later, it’s getting old. I want my
stuff. I like my stuff. I like cooking, but my cooking stuff is
packed away somewhere. Fast food is SO
old (and expensive)! God is teaching me
patience. His timing is perfect, so all
of this is happening for a reason. He’s
teaching me humility since I’m not exactly used to re-wearing clothes so often
and enjoy having space to myself. David,
Fishy, and I are cramped. We have way
too many boxes and stuff to move around.
My shins stay bruised from hitting them on boxes. The plan was to tolerate the cramped space
for a few months and now we’ve more than doubled it and my toleration has
decreased. I’ve also been humbled by the
fact that although the things I “like” are stored away and are being missed,
there’s a LOT of stuff stored. I’m so
grateful for the stuff that we have. We
have filled a storage unit and basically an entire house with “stuff,” yet I
complain about not having anything. We
are living just fine with the things we have unpacked and those are things that
many people don’t have. God has
definitely humbled me and I’m positive that had we not doubled our time living
the way we are, I wouldn’t have experienced humility to this level. In fact, I’m sure I would have just gone on
with life the way I always have and never even thought twice about the things I
have versus the things I need.
Trusting in Him & Patience
Trust in
the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths
straight. ~ Proverbs
3:5
We’ve hit a lot of “bumps” in the road throughout this
building process. I won’t go into all of
them, because it would become an extremely long post. Instead, I’ll simply describe them as
“bumps.” Some have been a lot larger
than others, but they’ve all required David and me to fully put our trust in
the Lord. From the beginning, although I
say I was not thinking clearly, each step and decision has been wrapped in
prayer. From the decision to sell, to
which property to purchase, we’ve given it all to God. Every time we hit a bump though, I can feel
that we’ve let our plans and desires get ahead of what He wants for us. I admit, when planning each piece of a house,
it’s more than easy to get ahead of yourself and plan the things you want. I think, since we gave it to God in the very
beginning, He doesn’t waste time when He sees that we are getting selfish and
throws something at us to get our attention.
All in all, everything is working out, but it’s just taken a whole lot
longer than originally planned. I have
to constantly remind myself that His timing is perfect. Although I like my timing a whole lot better
(since my timing put us in the new house 5 months ago), David and I have to
trust in the Lord.
Finally, I’ve learned to prioritize. I’ve always been pretty good at this, but
becoming a mother has challenged this skill.
I’ve learned that the house doesn’t always have to be clean, laundry
done (and put away…this is always VERY low on the list), dinner cooked, shower
taken, etc. Fishy is only little once
and it’s already passed by way too quickly.
I want to get in the floor and play with him and not worry about anything
else. I want to love on him and make him
giggle. I want to sit on the couch and
watch TV with David. Although nothing is
actually getting done during any of these things, I’ve learned that it doesn’t
really matter. My priorities have become
my family and having family time.
There’s just nothing better…
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