Due Date

For about a month I’ve been trying to figure out how I could avoid this day altogether.  Yeah, I know a due date is just an estimate, but it’s all I really had to hold onto.  (I promise all of my posts won’t be about this, but I’ve been waiting on Jan. 11 to get her so I can get past it.)  I thought about taking off work and tried to convince David to not go to Ohio, but that would have only made me mopier.  Thankfully, I serve a God who loves me and gives me strength.  Like my earlier posts indicate, God has renewed my strength.  It’s been many, many months since I’ve truly been happy and I’ve actually been excited for today to come.  Although I thought the world couldn’t get any worse, God has shown me over the last few months that other families have suffered similar, if not more difficult, losses.  He has written another chapter in my story so that I can share it with “all nations” so that He will be glorified.

I serve a powerful God.  He has jerked the rug out from under me several times in life so that I will fall on my face before Him.  This time, although I’m sure it won’t be the last since I am a bit controlling, I think I heard Him!  You’ll probably think I’m a slow learner or just stubborn (both are probably true) but God’s message to me is that HIS Will will be done…not mine.  Duh…right?  I’ve repeated this message numerous times in my life, but I’m just now understanding it. I am a planner and I like to be in charge.  My friend Brittney, from work, will tell me she would like to help me plan/organize things, if it’s not too much of a control issue for me.  J So, my issues are not unnoticed.  I have learned to Cast all [my] anxiety on Him because He cares for [me]. ~ 1 Peter 5:7  and to not plan anything or make any decisions without consulting Him first.  His plan will always prevail, no matter how much I want mine to.  Therefore, it’s probably a good idea for me to want His Will as mine.  If I will trust in the Lord with all [my] heart and lean not on [my] own understanding ~ Proverbs 3:5  then His Will will become the desire of my heart.  Praise the Lord for His patience!

My prayer is that you will find peace and comfort in the Lord.  How great is God – beyond our understanding! ~ Job 36:26